Crabapple
by OpheliacAngel
Summary: Jensen has a favor to ask Cougar. Will he accept? What will be the consequences if he does? Heard this awesome word yesterday and had to use it with the Losers. It can mean sucking the fun out of life and other things. Jensen/Cougar but it's secretive.


**Crabapple**

"Aww come on, Cougs. Don't be such a crabapple!"

The Mexican sniper was broken out of his ephemeral reverie by his love interest uttering that strange word.

"What?"

"What?"

"What was that word you just used?"

"What word?"

"You know what word, Jensen."

"Crabapple? Wait, you don't know what crabapple means?"

Cougar shook his head and sighed. Why had he even asked? Why couldn't he have just left it alone? Cause now Jensen would have his hour-long discussion about the origins and use of the word. If he changed the topic now he might be okay, but why couldn't he think of anything? He tuned his entire surroundings out before he could utter a single word. Probably about ten minutes later he came back to reality, with Jensen still talking but clearly running out of things to say.

"So Cougar, what's a crabapple?"

"A rotten apple?" He ventured.

The techie sighed, "Scoot over, Cougs."

"You didn't hear a word of what I just said did you?"

The sniper shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

"Headache."

He had to admit, he loved Jensen's incessant talking, but not when he felt like his head was going to explode, with the gooey pieces flying all over Jensen. He could picture him screaming perfectly at that, or maybe it was just the pounding that sounded like screeching and screaming now assaulting his mind. He felt the man he secretly loved beside him, wrap an arm around him and pull him close.

"Head massage, he twiddled his fingers in front of Cougar, or aspirin?" He shook a bottle of pills he had miraculously pulled out from nowhere.

Probably any other time he would eagerly take the pills, but he knew he had disappointed Jensen a little, even if it wasn't entirely his fault. Plus the fact that the youngest member of their group looked so excited to do something for Cougar, the sniper just couldn't turn him down.

"I'm all yours, Jen."

Jensen grinned and pulled Cougar down to lay his head on his lap. He could feel the techie running his fingers through his hair, first taking his hat off and lying it carefully on the coffee table. Cougar didn't even mind, he felt so relaxed. Having someone run their fingers through his hair felt like heaven. But it wasn't just someone, it was Jensen. The man he secretly had a crush on, a crush that he would never admit to. Maybe.

"So Cougar, what about the whole…father thing?"

Cougar sighed and nodded, "Fine. But I am not dressing up nor wearing anything feminine.

Jensen nodded eagerly, "No problem. You won't have to worry about a single thing. This is gonna be so great. I really appreciate this, Cougs. I mean believe me; I know this is asking a lot. You having to pretend to be my niece's dad and all, well second dad. I guess that means I'll have to be the woman, huh? Anyway I can't wait, and you have no idea how happy she will be when open house night comes. She'll be ecstatic. She'll be…"

"Jensen."

"Yeah?"

He had said his name about six times before the hacker finally realized it.

"My headache's coming back."

"Oh yeah, sorry."

He immediately shut his mouth and focused back on Cougar's head.

"Oh and by the way, you can't wear your hat. School policy."

The sniper growled and grabbed his hat to cover the majority of his face. If he was lucky, he could catch an hour's sleep before Clay woke him up to tell him it was time to go do something.

When he woke up an hour and a half later, the room was empty. Jensen was gone and so was his hat, only thinking to leave behind the pain pills. He didn't worry about his hat though, Jensen already knew he would be strangled if anything happened to it. He ran a hand through his hair to find his headache miraculously gone. Kudos to the nifty little hacker. He really was a vital and unique member of their team. But of course Cougar already knew that.

He walked into the little bedroom they shared, complete with two double beds and a walk-in closet. He saw an article of clothing on the bed and walked closer to find a note. He picked it up and read it.

_Hey Cougs, _

_If I'm not back by the time you're reading this it means I've gone shopping. The mall has a sale on those colorful fancy shirts I like. Should be nice enough for the school. Anyway, they're supposed to have pink. I left you something to try on cause I need to make sure it's your size. Tell me how you like it later. It was picked out with you and you only in mind. Anyways I should probably stop writing now; if that color sells out, I'll be a wreck. I'll see ya later. _

_From, Blondie_

Cougar smiled and looked down to find a sleek black dress, length to the knees, stare back at him from its position on the bed.

The smile instantly faded. And his headache came back with a vengeance.

Damn little lovable motor mouth.

Even though he didn't know what a crabapple was, he was pretty sure Jensen would fit the picture nicely.

**FIN**


End file.
